OQ

Age: 30-64 years

Occupation: Stylist

OQ wears her hair short; she gets a perm about every eight weeks. It’s her “look.” The style works well for her because it is easy to manage. For OQ, that is the key — her hair cannot get in the way of her lifestyle.

When OQ was younger, she was involved in cheerleading. She discussed how sweat, heat, and humidity could ruin her hairstyle, but she would not let this stop her from cheerleading.

“I just had to come to terms with ‘my hair is my hair,’ and I’m not going to stop doing different activities just because my hair frizzes up or there are times when I may look a little crazy,” said OQ. “I can’t let my hair stop me from doing the things I want to do.”

Much of this attitude came from her mother’s influence. Her mother encouraged her to embrace every aspect of her but not necessarily let it define her, particularly not to worry about what she cannot change. It does not mean she wishes her hair were different. On the contrary, versatility is helpful. Her mother also taught her to change her style based on her environment, to transition. Her hair may look one way in an athletic setting and a totally different way in a more formal setting.

“Everything’s sort of about flexibility,” OQ explained.

OQ says that hair can be a sore subject for many of her friends, but she does not worry about it too much — she does not have the time. OQ is a woman on the go. She goes to a high-demand celebrity hairstylist to make sure she does not spend the whole day in the salon; if she just needs a cut, she will go to a barbershop; and if she needs a perm but the celebrity stylist is not available, she will do it herself. OQ’s approach to her hair is not about fitting social norms nor defying social norms, it’s not about looking perfect, and it’s not emotional. It’s about convenience, ease, and practicality.

“For me, it was more about [realizing] ‘this is what you have, this is your hair, and it’s fine. It’s beautiful,’ and so I keep moving,” said OQ.

OQ makes sure her hair fits her lifestyle so that she does not have to fit her lifestyle to her hair. Although, to be clear: her hair still looks fabulous.